Practice J.L.Bender.

Sex and relationship therapy

As of February 1st, 2021, I will be closing my practice. I am not taking on new clients.
Ex clients wanting to contact me can write me at jlbpraktijk@xs4all.nl

Every loving relationship has periods of misunderstandings and difficulties. Intimacy and sexuality are areas of life that are especially susceptable for problems and misunderstandings. If this is the case in your situation and you are dissatisfied or worried about your relationship, my advice is to start with an open conversation with your partner. This is often the most difficult and most important first step. Most people avoid conflicts and anticipate each other's thoughts and reactions. This is very common behaviour that often leads to more stress and difficulties. This doesn't solve the problems.

A sex therapist can be helpful in gaining a better understanding of the problems and how they evolved. This is often very useful and may have a preventative effect. A limited amount of sessions can be sufficient in getting things back on track. There is an expression in Dutch that says; "prevention is better than cure!"

Sometimes problems and stress are more serious. Talking together can be difficult. Arguments can be common. Sometimes patterns of communication can become so rigid that you can't seem to reach each other.

Hurting each other, breakups, affairs can all be part of escalations in relationships. Going to a relationship therapist or a sexologist can be a last attempt to save the relationship. This can be helpful in rekindling your loving relationship. Sometimes a couple needs help from a therapist in breaking up.

How a couple experiences intimacy and sexuality in their relationship and the level of satisfaction depends on a number of factors. In our talks the following themes will be discussed.

Differences between partners, also in relation to intimacy and sexuality.
Expectations, desires and boundaries around intimacy and sexuality.
Communication
Individual characteristics
How do you interact with each other?
How have you organized your lives?
How does your personal history, upbringing and prior experiences effect your intimate relationship.